Obligations
by HakunaMitama
Summary: After months of keeping it to herself, Elma finally tells Cross secrets about his past that he had thought were lost forever when he lost his memory. String of loosely connected one-shots. End game spoilers.
1. Obligations

_**~ Obligations ~**_

* * *

 _ **End Game Spoilers.**_ _Takes place no time in-particular but after getting Tatsu and before the end of the game._

* * *

Cross rolled over in his sleep, his body sprawled out on one of the couches in the barracks he had so kindly been invited to stay in. The couch wasn't exactly the most comfortable place to sleep but it was better than the floor and he absolutely refused to take Elma or Lin's bed. Tatsu was wrapped up in a blanket across from Cross.

The team had gone through a bit of a tough day before, having some trouble with mob of Indegins that had ambushed them. They returned with more than a few scratches and bite marks. After Lin had bandaged him up, Cross didn't care where he lied down as long as he could sleep. So he flopped down on the couch and was out in seconds.

Lin had found a blanket and gently draped it over him before scolding Tatsu who demanded she get him one as well. In the end the poor Nopon was left to try and climb the shelves of the closet to reach the fluffiest blanket on the top shelf. He had almost fallen as he pulled the blanket out, but was lucky to be caught by Elma, who had been passing by. With a gentle smile she wrapped Tatsu up in his blanket and set him on the couch to sleep, thanking him for his help today.

Elma loved her team, even Tatsu who provided little use in combat still found ways to make himself useful. He, Lin, and Cross were like family to her, and she feared she had grown too attached. Her last team had died in the field and it had absolutely devastated the commander, sending her spiraling into depression. She had lost so much. She swore to herself she would die before she let anything take her friends again.

Elma's gentle footsteps could be heard as she crept into the room where Cross and Tatsu were asleep. She was in her sleeping attire: a limited tank top Cross had given her as a gift and her underwear. She smiled to herself as Tatsu murmured in his sleep, probably having a nightmare of Lin cooking him. She moved to the fridge and gently opened it, pulling out a bottle of water. As she drank she noticed Cross's arm hanging lazily off the couch, the back of his hand resting on the floor. The woman quietly took a few steps closer, she bent down and gently lifted his arm back onto the couch, covering it with his blanket. After briefly checking to be sure she hadn't woken him, she stood back up and took another swig of her water.

"Gah!"

Elma jumped slightly as Tatsu let out a yelp as he woke up from his dream. She checked to see Cross was still asleep before turning to Tatsu, putting her finger to her lips.

"Bad dream?" She whispered, to which Tatsu nodded. She'd have to tell Lin not to traumatize him as much.

"Linly chop up Tatsu to see if he normal potato or sweet potato," he murmured quietly. It was then that he realized that Elma seem a little off. "Elma feeling alright?" He asked her as he tilted his head. He shook his blanket off.

Elma, who had been looking at Cross again, turned away and walked back toward the fridge. "I'm fine, Tatsu," she murmured, opening the fridge and placing the water bottle back inside. "Just thinking."

Tatsu hopped from his place on the couch and waddled over to Elma. "Tatsu know that voice," he said. "Something troubling Elma."

The woman closed the door to the fridge and looked down at the little Nopon. "It's nothing to worry about, Tatsu," she explained. "It's nothing important, I'll be alright."

Tatsu frowned and shook his body. "Elma tell Tatsu everything! Tatsu promise on Nopon honor he keep secret." He did a salute. But Elma was persistent in not saying anything. "Tatsu even offer secret of his own!" Elma wasn't sure if Tatsu was genuinely concerned for her or if his curiosity was purely what drove him.

She looked over at Cross, who was still passed out. His hand had fallen off the couch and onto the floor again. Tatsu glanced over there as well. "Does it have to do with Cross?"

At this point Elma sighed in defeat, leaning against the wall. She slid down to a sitting position on the floor to be at Tatsu's level. "I used to know him," she murmured, lowering her voice further. "Before he lost his memory."

Tatsu gasped. "And Cross doesn't remember Elma?" To this the woman nodded her head. Tatsu could see the pain in her eyes as she answered. The Nopon turned his gaze down to the floor, unsure of what to say. Where was Lin to make make a food joke to break the tension when he needed her? "But... But Cross may remember some day that Elma his friend," he tried to assure her, climbing up into her lap. "Some memories already come back."

Elma smiled gently and stroked Tatsu's head. "I wake up every morning, anxious to see if his memory of me miraculously returned," her gaze again turned towards him. "But it never does."

Tatsu scratched his head. "Cross and Elma were close?" He asked.

Elma smirked and looked at Tatsu. "I think that's quite enough of my secret, I want to hear your's."

...

Tatsu gave her a blank stare, as if he didn't know what she was talking about. "Oh, ehhh," Tatsu was making it apparent he actually hadn't had a secret he intended to tell Elma. "Oh! Tatsu find out Linly still sometimes wets bed!" He jumped from Elma's lap and made a mad dash out of the room, Elma could hear the barrack's door open and close as the Nopon made his escape.

She sighed, hearing that didn't reassure her that her secret would be well kept. Not that what she told Tatsu could do much damage. There might be a few questions but what she worried about more would be Cross feeling guilty for forgetting. He would likely be upset even if it wasn't his fault at all.

Though she tried not to think about it, Tatsu's "secret" did explain some of Lin's odd behavior some mornings. She felt pity towards the girl who had no one to go to about it. Both her mother and father had passed away. She had heard Lin refer to Cross as a father figure so Elma couldn't help but wonder if she was Lin's mother figure.

Her train of thought was broken as she heard a groan from the other side of the room. She looked over to see Cross pushing himself up into a sitting position on the couch. Though he was drowsy, he immediately noticed Elma sitting on the floor in the middle of the kitchen in her underwear. He gave her a puzzled look.

The woman picked herself up and brushed herself off. "Good morning," she said, no longer bothering to keep her voice low. There wasn't anyone else around to wake up. Cross smiled and greeted her tiredly.

Elma would normally be embarrassed to be seen by a man in her sleepwear but for what ever reason she was unaffected when it was Cross. He never seemed to pay any heed to it, as if she were wearing her normal getup. She stood up and walked over to him, her hips rhythmically swaying side to side with each step but she stopped in front of the couch. Cross could hear a slight sigh of disappointment escape her lips as she looked into his eyes. They were the same as every morning. Like Elma had told Tatsu, she hoped maybe he'd wake up to an 'Ah ha!' moment and magically remember.

She thought for a moment to tell him but shook it off. "Would you like some breakfast?" Elma asked, turning back towards the fridge. "I can scramble us some eggs."

She looked back to see a drowsy Cross smile and nod. She was no cook compared to Lin, but there were few things simpler to cook than eggs. As she pulled out the eggs and a pan, she could hear Cross getting up from the couch. He briefly looked around to see if there was anyone else around. Normally Tatsu was still asleep on the couch when he woke up. He wasn't bothered much by it, though curious what got Tatsu up so early.

Seeing Elma up so early was no surprise. More often than not he would wake up to see her on the opposite side of the room leaning over the mission table looking at information. She was an all business kind of woman, which was why it was a bit odd to see her curled up in the corner that morning.

As Elma cracked the eggs and poured them into a now sizzling pan, Cross pulled two glass cups from the cabinets and a carton of orange juice from the fridge. He poured the juice into the cups before asking Elma if everything was alright, causing her to turn towards him long enough to slide the juice across the counter. Elma effortlessly caught the sliding glass. The juice sloshing about never escaped the cup.

"You don't need to worry about me," Elma assured him, realizing he had taken notice to her odd position on the floor. She averted her gaze back to the eggs, which she began to scramble. Cross furrowed his brow and tilted his head. His train of thought was derailed at the sound of the door to the barracks opening. Tatsu came bouncing in. No doubt he could smell the food.

"Oooh! Elma cooking Tatsu breakfast?" He asked excitedly. To this Elma sighed and pour the eggs evenly into two plates, pushing one to Cross and another to an empty spot on the table for Tatsu, who eagerly jumped onto the counter to eat. Cross gave Elma a look but she grinned and grabbed a few more eggs and cracking them. With that Cross began to eat his eggs.

"Oh!" Tatsu said with his mouth full. "Elma so generous making Tatsu seconds already!" Lin would have smacked Tatsu on the back of the head.

"Sorry Tatsu, these are mine," Elma told him as she scrambled the eggs.

...

"Elma make Tatsu seconds after?"

Cross stifled a laugh, causing Tatsu to turn to him. "Oh! friend Cross awake!" Tatsu noted. He hadn't noticed Cross the entire time, he had been too excited about the food. "Did friend know Elma knew him before he lost memory?"

God damn it, Tatsu.

Elma sighed, though it was her own fault. Tatsu couldn't keep a secret if his life depended on it, she knew that. Yet she still told him. Cross asked her if that was true. She glanced over her should for a moment. "It is," was her short answer. Then came the inevitable:

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She could have told him about his past, even if she barely knew him she could at least give him some idea of what had happened to him before the white whale crashed and his memory was lost. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I didn't want..."

She had to concentrate for a moment. She had to think of the right response. She would have done this ahead but she hadn't expected Tatsu to let it slip so quickly. She dumped the eggs on a plate. She looked at the food for a moment before giving it to Tatsu. She was no longer hungry.

Cross could tell she was struggling to find the right thing to say. He tried to not get worked up and remain calm, giving her an apologetic smile.

"I didn't want you to feel obligated," Elma murmured. "I wanted you to make your own decisions. Joining BLADE. your division, your friends, everything really... You might have chose things differently because you believed you used to know me."

She finally managed to look him in the eye. "I just wanted you to decide what you wanted to do, not just do something because some woman wanted you to do it." She smiled. "But it worked out just fine, we still became good friends."

Cross smiled, pushing his plate towards her to offer her some of his eggs. Lord knows Tatsu would never give her's back. Elma smiled and poked the eggs with her fork. It felt good to get that off her chest finally, but there was still more to it than that.

Cross seemed a bit frustrated with himself, running his hand through his hair. Elma knew this would happen. Now he would beat himself up for not remembering.

"Please don't feel bad," Elma told him. "It's not your fault." But Cross seemed unconvinced. She took his hand and looked him in the eye. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before smiling at his team captain.

He asked how they knew each other before he lost his memory. Elma opened her mouth and was about to answer when the front door to the barracks opened and Lin sprung into the room. "You knew Cross before he lost his memory?" She asked with excitement. Elma couldn't help but notice Tatsu panic and duck under the counter.

Elma stammered, for the first time in weeks. She looked at Cross for help, he could see embarrassment written on her face but was unsure why. It wasn't often the commander was flustered like this.

"Elma?" Lin asked, noting the woman's troubled look. But the room fell silent as the sound of Elma's FrontierNav buzzing. She swiped it off the counter, turning it on to see she had a call from Vandham.

"Commander?" She answered, happy to shift the focus in the room.

"Elma?" The Vandham asked. He noticed it was awfully late in the morning for Elma to still be in her sleepwear. "We got a mission for ya. Report to BLADE tower when you can."

With that he ended the call and the FrontierNav shut off. "You heard the man, let's move out," Elma said, trying to stick the device in her pocket when she realized she wasn't wearing her usual gear yet.

"But Elma..." Lin began, hand clenched by her heart. "What about-"

"I said, 'let's move out,' Lin," Elma said sternly before leaving the room to change. Lin looked over at Cross, who shrugged in response, it was apparent he wanted to know what Elma had to say about it even more than Lin did. The young girl's brow furrowed before she stormed off after Elma to her sleeping quarters.

"Elma, what the hell?" Lin asked her as she let herself in. Elma was putting her head through the neck hole of her gear. The commander seemed puzzled. "Why are you avoiding something so important?" Lin took the liberty of blocking the exit so Elma wouldn't escape her this time.

Elma turned her back to Lin as she put on her pants. She had half a mind to ignore the girl but she knew she wasn't leaving the room until Lin was satisfied. Even if Cross came to save her, Lin wouldn't budge. "It's just not that easy, alright?"

"Bullshit."

Elma's eyes widened as she looked to Lin. "That's not how a thirteen year old should be talking, Lin." She warned the girl.

Lin scowled and shook her head. "Don't change the subject," she commanded. It was times like these Elma resented the maturity she normally adored Lin for. "What could possibly make it so hard that you couldn't give Cross his identity back."

The commander stopped dressing for a moment. Lin was right. Cross had never remembered a thing other than his name since Elma had found him in the wilds of Primordia. Elma probably knew more about him than he knew about himself.

…

Swallowing hard, Elma turned to Lin. "Do you think he'll resent me?"

Lin, relaxed from her defensive stance and gave Elma a confused look. "Because you never told him before?" To this Elma nodded. "I was wondering though, why didn't you tell him?"

Elma sat down on her bed, her cheeks slowly glowing red. "Back on the White Whale, in those years of floating through space..." She inhaled deeply. "I met Cross and we, uh... Eventually..."

"Oh my god," Lin covered her hand with her mouth. "You two were a thing?"

Elma nodded, trying to keep her calm composer. "A few months after we met, we got drunk and I told him things I hadn't told almost anyone," as serious as the moment was she couldn't help but smile slightly as she thought fondly of the moment. "One thing led to another and we kissed and did grown up things." Lin gagged, but she was starting to understand why that made things complicated.

"When we crashed and Cross was unaccounted for, I was devastated," Elma shook her head. "I'm not going to lie, he was a big reason why I became a Reclaimer. I always hoped I might find him."

Lin smiled and sat down on the bed next to her leader. "And you did," she said softly. "But it must have been hard when you realize he didn't remember anything."

A sigh escaped Elma's lips as she recalled the moment. "It was a moment of denial," she admitted. "I tried to convince myself that it wasn't him, just another mim that looked like him. But he remembered his name."

She felt a hand fall on her shoulder. "Elma," Lin began. "I'm so sorry."

But Elma was the leader of her group for a reason, she was strong and kept up a calm and serious front. "It'll be fine. I'll go tell him."

As she stood up to leave, Lin pinched the back fabric of her gear and keep her from leaving. "What about Commander Vandham's mission? It sounded important."

Elma's brow furrowed. "Why the sudden change of heart, Lin?" she asked, crossing her arms across her chest. "You were all for me telling Cross as soon as possible."

…

Lin had her gaze locked on the floor, she lightly bit her bottom lip and looked to Elma. "I… I guess I didn't realize the stakes…" she murmured. "What if this makes things awkward between us all?" She clenched her hand and held it near to her heart. "Cross… Tatsu… and you… you're all the closest thing to family I had since my parents died."

The was the sound of sobbing outside the door. "Oh, Linly!" Tatsu waddled into the room, jumping into the air and pouncing on the girl, knocking her over onto the bed. "Tatsu think Lily and friends as family too!"

It was as good of a time as ever to slip out of the room to approach Cross. The mission Vandham had was going to have to wait. Elma had held this off for too long, and Cross would likely be distracted from the mission until he knew what she was going to tell him.

She came out too see Cross on the couch he had been sleeping on a while ago, although now he was messing around with his FrontierNav. He had gotten a few new probes and was probably trying to figure out what would be the most profitable setup. That being said his attention must not have been too focused because the minute Elma stepped into the room his head turned towards her.

He had been waiting.

Cross and Elma just stared at each other for a minute, each waiting to see if the other would say something first. Elma eventually cleared her throat, walking over to the couch and sitting across from her teammate. "I just... Before we begin," she started. "I don't want this to change anything between us." Cross tilted his head in confusion before nodding. "I also don't want you to feel any sort of obligations. I've accepted who you are and I'm ready to move on."

Cross swallowed hard. He wasn't sure he was really ready for what Elma had to say, but he also had to know. He told Elma no matter what had happened before it couldn't possibly be enough to ruin the companionship they formed over the last few months.

"The reason this is all so hard is because when we were back of the white whale..." She paused, trying to formulate the best way to phrase what she needed to say. "We were together... as in… as in as lovers."

Cross's brow furrowed.

"You could say we fell in love. At least I love you," she cleared her throat and shook her head. "Loved you." She clenched her teeth and inhaled sharply, closing her eyes and turned her head from the man. She was struggling between finding that balance of honesty and not guilting him into anything. He was more than a friend and she didn't want to lie to him.

"Not loved," she finally admitted, her dark cheeks tinted pink. "I still love you." It felt like the weight of holding secrets was finally lifted from her shoulders only like to be replaced by crushing embarrassment. "But that doesn't have to mean anything." She quickly assured him. "I'm a grown woman, I can learn to live on."

Cross leaned to the side to see Lin and Tatsu peaking from around the corner in the background behind Elma. For the first time since Cross had met her, Elma couldn't keep her commanding eye contact.

"Wow," Cross scratched the back of his head. This was all a little too sudden, not that Elma could have really broken the news to him any gentler without lying or stretching the truth. There was an awkward silence and Cross knew he was going to have to be the one to break it. He asked what else she knew about him before, realizing how close they must of been, she had to know this stuff.

Elma smiled gently, she seemed relieved for the change of topic but her eyes glistened with a hint of disappointment, Cross couldn't help but notice her struggling to keep her composer. She explained to him that he was an engineer on the ship, she related to him what he had told her about his family and life on earth before the explosion. She knew his favorite food, which was why it was one of the first things Lin made when they first brought him in. She related his hobbies and favorite activities.

"You were always fascinated by the stars," Elma explained, swallowing hard. "One of the things you always said you missed the most was... Was lying in the grass at night and..."

"... Watching the sky?" Cross finished her sentence as she was reaching the end of her rope.

"I-I'm sorry," Elma stood up, her vision getting foggy. "I need a moment." She hurried out of the room and into the skell hangar, leaving Cross by himself. He realized how tense he had been, sitting on the edge of his seat. He let out a sigh and flopped down on the couch.

"Cross?"

The man looked over to see Lin walking over to him with Tatsu in her arms. The Nopon seemed uncomfortable with how tightly Lin was unintentionally holding him. "Is... Is everything alright?"

Cross blinked and looked away from the girl. "Did you know?" He asked her.

Lin slowly let go of Tatsu, place him on the floor. "Only as of a few minutes ago," she answered. "It's odd though. I knew Elma a little on the White Whale but I never heard about you. Had she kept the relationship a secret?"

That would certainly make telling people about it that much harder. Elma had been keeping their relationship a secret since before they hit Mira.

"Are you... mad about it?" Lin asked worriedly. Cross knew he had to reassure her, telling her things were going to be alright. He wished Elma had told him sooner but he wasn't too upset about it.

"I've rarely see Elma like this," Lin admitted, looking towards the skell hangar. "She's hasn't been this emotional since her old teammates died in battle. You must really mean a lot to her."

Elma certainly had tried to play it off otherwise but it was pretty apparent her heart and her mind weren't working in union at the moment. Cross stood up and brushed himself off, looking towards the skell hangar with Lin. He asked the girl to give them some privacy for a few minutes. To which Lin smiled and nodded, wishing him luck. Tatsu started to waddle after Cross but Lin grabbed him and dragged him away.

Cross stepped into the hangar to see Elma standing at the other end of the room. Her right arm and forehead were pressed against the wall as she gazed downward. Cross sighed and strolled over towards her. With each quiet step his heart beat faster and faster. The woman always had such a strong composer, to see her like this made Cross feel compelled to hold her in his arms. He never wished to see Elma sad but to see her display this much emotion excited him. The woman noticed him approaching. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "Cross, I-"

Elma was cut short as they collided. Cross wrapped his arms around her, gently placing his hand on the back of her head and pressing her against his chest. Her arms wrapped around him upon instinct, linking her arms together and locking him in her grasp.

Elma enjoyed the closeness, it felt like old times. The sound of his beating heart was a little more rapid than usual as he was nervous. A few moments passed and his heart beat slowed.

"Cross..." Elma held him tighter. "I'm so sorry. I just-"

The man shushed her, he didn't want her to feel at fault about anything. Cross could feel Lin and Tatsu watching them, blasted kids.

"You don't have to love me back."

He looked down at Elma. She was so bent on being sure he wasn't bound by his past, as if he had a get out of jail free card for anything he might have ever done. All he had ever wanted was to get his past back. He began to slowly rub her back, Causing her to further melt in his arms.

Then came the real question. "Do you love me, or do you love the old me?"

Elma stiffened a bit at the question. It wasn't ever really something that crossed her mind. "There's never been an old Cross or a new Cross," she looked up at him. "There's just always been you. Memories or not, you're still the same man I fell in love with."

Cross's lips curved into a smile. Telling her that was a good answer, he was going to lean in for a kiss but Elma stopped him.

"I'm... Overwhelmingly happy but," she finally let him go and backed up, leaving her feeling cold. "There's something you need to know before you truly decide what we'll be."

Cross asked her what it was. She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. "Something I told you back on the White Whale, it's something you have to keep a secret, even from Lin, especially Tatsu."

Cross snorted in amusement.

"I'm not human."

Cross's brow furrowed, he asked what she was, trying not to be weirded out, but Elma could tell he was uncomfortable. "I'm an alien from a distant galaxy," she explained. "I helped prepare the humans to escape earth giving them warnings and technology." She began to count all the things on her fingers. "Mims, skells, shields, light speed travel, all come from my galaxy and my species."

Cross still seemed troubled, but couldn't help but feel a bit honored to have such a personal relationship with someone who had literally saved the human race as a species. "I know what you really want to know though," Elma smirked. "I look mostly how I do now, but with different color skin and elf-like ears."

Cross breathed a sigh of relief, worried she might look like a Prone or something unusual. He had given her the exact same reaction back when she had told him on the White Whale. The feeling of how shallow his realized he came across stung, and he apologized.

"I understand," Elma laughed. "I wouldn't date a Ma-non no matter how great a personality he had." The two laughed, the relief of a lightened mood for the first time this morning felt great.

The woman drew closer to Cross and put both her hands on his cheeks. "Where were we?"

Cross smiled before telling her to hold the thought. He drew her to the opposite side of the room where they couldn't been seen.

"Linly! Tatsu can no longer see what's happening!"

"Zip it, tater tot," Lin hissed. She thought they had done so well spying. Maybe Cross just knew them too well.

Elma smiled gently, appreciating the privacy. Reaching out she grabbed Cross's head and pulled him in for a kiss. His lips were just as she remembered them. Oh how she had missed this.

This provoked her to deepen the kiss, she could feel Cross place his hands on her hips, finally beginning to return the affection and kiss her back. She drew back for a moment, their lips parting as Cross looked at her in confusion. They hadn't kissed that long.

"You never said it," Elma murmured, a little embarrassed and feeling petty. "I-I want to hear you say it." She looked away.

Cross was confused by what she meant for a moment before he smiled and cupped her chin and turned her gaze back towards him.

"I love you."

The words sent shivers down her spine as pleasant memories filled her mind. Cross had been her light in those two years of the darkness of space. "Say it again."

"I love you, Elma."

The woman smiled again and cupped his cheek. "I love you too, Cross."

To that their lips met again. Cross couldn't quite place it but the kiss tasted and felt familiar. He could only guess it had do with the fact that this was not his first kiss with Elma. He grunted slightly but smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Elma had been missing this since they landed in Mira she wasn't letting the moment end too quickly.

No more secrets, no more guilt, Elma felt like a free woman. Eventually she remembered her call from Vandham and they separated. "We should report in," she said, unwrapping her arms around Cross. "Vandham is probably wondering where we are." With that she pecked Cross on the cheek and started to walk away.

"Go brush your teeth, morning breath," Elma called back.

* * *

The quiet hum of the skell flight module rang in Cross's ears. It was late in the night and he was kind of tired, especially after the mission Vandham had given them. But Elma insisted the two of them were going out into Primordia. So he tailed behind Elma's skell, flying high in the air, the indegins down below seemed so small and non-threatening when they were so far up. Cross let out a yawn, throwing his head back a little.

"Just a little farther, Cross," Elma's voice sounded through the cockpit, communicating from her skell. Cross found he was unused to the commander calling him anything other than "rookie." Not that he was complaining.

Elma landed her skell on the huge over arching structure that always loomed over Primordia. Cross landed beside her and they both exited their skells. Elma approached Cross and looked at him for a moment before sheepishly taking his hand. "Over here," she told him as she guided him up the structure. "Back on the White Whale the thing you said you missed the most back on earth was lying in the grass at night and watching the sky."

Cross turned his gaze upward, his eyes widening to see how filled with stars the sky was. Away from the lights of New LA and so high up, the sky glistened more than ever before with stars everywhere. He looked at Elma and smiled, thanking her for bringing him there to see.

Elma smiled and sat down in the grass, Cross following suit and sitting down beside her. They both lied down, the man found it hard to take his gaze off the sky. Elma on the other hand, rolled on her side, wrapping an arm around Cross and resting her head on his chest. It was fascinating to see her act so tenderly. He smiled and gently ran his hand through her hair.

"I missed you," Elma murmured.

"I missed you too."

* * *

 _This is meant to be a one-shot. I might write other one-shots that are loosely connected to this story though. We'll see. Feedback is always super appreciated._


	2. Selfish

**_~ Selfish ~_**

* * *

 _I guess this is a one-shot collection now._

* * *

The heartbeat; it was rhythmic, gentle, enchanting. Even in the false bodies of mims the humans inhabited had pulsing hearts. It represented life. It was what kept them human. The heartbeat was a part of human emotions, it sped up when excited, and slowed down when relaxed. It could tell you a lot about a person.

It was Elma's favorite thing to hear when she woke up. In a city bustling with activity like New LA, there were a great many things some could wake up to hear. The shouts of commanders or the mechanisms of skells rang in the early morning air. But the heartbeat meant something special to Elma. It represented her growth as a person, her challenges, her patience, and her reward.

But this heartbeat she held so dear was, of course, not her own. She clenched her eyes tighter as a body shifted below her. She was in bed, resting her head on Cross's chest. Her right ear was pressed against his body right where the heart was gave Elma the perfect place the listen to the most relaxing sound in the world. She again felt Cross shift in the bed. She had to adjust a little herself to hear the heartbeat just the way she liked it.

Mornings had become more of a struggle. Sharing a bed with someone you care about makes it so much more difficult to get up.

Elma held onto Cross a little more tightly, as she had both her arms wrapped around him. It was her subtle way to telling him she didn't want to get up yet. She felt his chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath. Her lips curled into a gentle smile as she felt his fingers begin to lazily run through her hair.

She shuddered as she enjoyed his touch. It was interesting how Cross adopted old habits from his past life before he lost his memory without even knowing it. Though this was still new to Cross, Elma was very familiar with this situation. She had missed it.

The previous night, Cross had been getting the couch set up for another night of sleep when Elma came in looking for him. She seemed surprised by the notion he'd think to sleep anywhere other than with her. Elma had to consistently remind herself that while this was all so familiar to her, it seemed like a brand new experience to Cross. At first the man seemed a little nervous about the idea of following her to bed but a few kisses later he changed his mind.

Lin was surprised to find Tatsu insisting he didn't want to sleep alone on the couch. He had followed her into her bedroom and was quick to make himself comfortable. She threatened to skin him if he got fur all over her bed. She went to Elma to ask for help with Tatsu but found the woman was too busy with her unscheduled appointment with Cross's lips to be any assistance.

"He was appointed to be your responsibility, Lin," Elma said for the brief moment she broke contact with Cross. "You take care of it." Elma seemed annoyed by the disturbance the young girl provided. It was then that Lin realized things might never be the same in their little group. Shoulders slumped, the girl returned to her room to find her potato friend breathing a sigh of relief. There was no sign of Elma around the corner to kick him out.

"L-Linly, what's wrong?" He asked, noticing girl's damper mood. To which Lin didn't reply. She wordlessly crawled into bed and threw her covers on top of her and Tatsu, not saying a word. "Lin… Linly?" the little nopon began, his body slumping a little. "If Linly really that upset… Tatsu can leave."

…

After a moment of silence. Tatsu grabbed his little blanket and began to get off the bed.

"Tatsu… wait," he heard Linly finally call out to him. "You can stay."

Tatsu grinned, wanting to do a dance of happiness, but figured it would be best not to push his luck. As he began to make himself comfortable in bed he yelped in surprise as Lin began to cuddle him like a pillow.

"Don't ever change, Tatsu," he heard Lin's muffled voice say.

The nopon blinked in confusion a few times before chirping. "Silly Linly, Tatsu always be Tatsu."

It was a fairly quiet night in the barracks from there, until Elma's alarm went off. She groaned, preferring to lay in bed with Cross all day rather than get up. Cross reached over to look at the alarm, to his surprise it was still early enough to be dark out. He asked Elma why she would wake up at such an ungodly hour, to which she grumbled he could turn off the alarm. They laid there in the quiet, Elma continued to listen to his heartbeat. She wanted to fall back asleep but her conscience wouldn't let her.

She could feel Cross's hand running through her hair a bit more lazily before it fell to the bed. He had fallen back asleep. Elma continued to hold him tightly, as if afraid to lose him again. She never wanted to sleep in an empty bed again. The cold nights, before she had told Cross about his past, were lonely and miserable.

And his heartbeat… oh she had missed his heartbeat.

It was moments like these she didn't care to worry. There was always the chance Cross didn't really love her and he was just doing this because he wanted to keep her happy or thought he had to because of his past with her. She wanted nothing short of genuine in this relationship, but she felt she'd be cursed to worry for the rest of eternity. Not even she was really sure what Cross could say that would change her mind.

But here she lay with him. She kissed him, loved him, made him her's, and she was his. At the very least Elma felt she had earned this. After all the waiting, she finally had the courage to tell Cross what she knew and she her little not-so-human secret. He didn't seem to mind. He had been shown pictures of what her alien form looked like, to which he had said he thought there wasn't much difference from Elma's mimeosome.

Again, this was the same thing he had said when Elma had shown him her true form on the White Whale. She also felt it was unfair how well she knew him in contrast to how well he knew her. But Elma shook the thought from her head, realizing he would get there eventually. With that she finally began to doze off again.

The sound of the FrontierNav ringing was the next thing Elma remembered hearing. Cross let out a groan as Elma let go of him and rolled over and grabbed the device to answer it.

"Elma! Where the hell have you been?" It was Vandham, his tone of voice and question caused Elma to glance at the clock.

"Commander! I'm very sorry," she suddenly sat up straight. "I must have overslept." Cross began to sit up as well but quickly ducked back down when he started to appear in seeing range of the FrontierNav's camera.

"Is there someone in there with you?" Vandham had noticed the sudden movement in the background.

"Commander I believe I'm allowed to have a private life if I please," Elma told him sternly.

"Not if it means being late for work," Vandham told her a bit grumpily. "Get your asses over here."

"Yes, sir," Elma said, biting her tongue. "Sorry again, sir." With that the call ended. She knew it was her own fault, she should have gotten up with her alarm.

Meanwhile Lin was standing around the kitchen area with Tatsu. The Nopon was laying on the ground, stuffed to the brim with food that Lin had cooked for him. Normally the girl wouldn't make him third or forths but without Elma and Cross around she had gotten bored and focused on cooking.

Lin looked over from the dishes she was cleaning as a sleepy Cross stumbled into the main quarters. His hair was messy and his tank top was on inside out. He stretched and let out a yawn before turning to Lin and giving her a smile.

She smiled back but quickly averted her gaze back to the dishes, scrubbing a little more viciously. Cross took note of a passed out Tatsu on the floor before walking over the the fridge and popping it open.

Lin raised a brow as he poured some milk into a glass, Cross had always been more a juice person. Her questions were quickly answered when Elma came out and he handed the glass to her.

"That's sweet of you," Elma thanked the man, before taking a sip of her milk. Lin continued to look away until Cross, who was about to put the milk back, asked if she wanted any.

"No, it's alright," Lin told him quietly. The man nodded and put the milk away before pulling out the juice Lin was used to seeing him drink.

...

"How was sleeping with Tatsu?" Elma asked Lin. She felt a little bad for leaving the girl to fend for herself last night.

"Tatsu sleep great!" The little Nopon sprang up. "Bed is much more comfortable than couch!" Cross gestured towards Tatsu in agreement. "Tatsu always happy to share bed with Linly!"

Lin set the now clean dishes down before stepping over to the table and picking up her gear. "I'm heading out," she said, keeping her focus off her friends. "I have a lot to do." With that she hurried out of the room with a final goodbye. She figured they'd rather have more time to themselves than with her.

"L-Linly wait!" Tatsu scurried over to his backpack and put it on along with his cap. "Tatsu coming too!" He rushed out as well. Elma's brow furrowed, Tatsu was just being his plain ol' self but there was something wrong with Lin. Now wasn't the time to think about that though, Vandham was already upset she was late.

"Let's suit up," she told Cross. They hurried to get their gear on and made their way to the exit, but Elma stopped Cross before he opened the door. "Hey, I-" Elma tried to speak before quickly giving up and giving Cross a kiss on the lips.

"I'm sorry," she quickly turned away with embarrassment. Cross seemed confused but content. "I just… back on the White Whale we always kissed before we left to work." The man assured her it was alright he'd be happy to make it a daily thing.

Cross attempted to open the door again but was surprised when it opened on it's own, Irina stood at the door. "Hey," she greeted the two. "I just saw Lin making a mad dash to the Industrial District with Tatsu. Is everything alright?"

Cross showed a bit of concern but said he thought things were fine. Elma assured Irina they would check up on her soon. After reaching BLADE tower and getting chewed out by Vandham they were given their mission which, wouldn't you know it, required Lin's assistance. "Yeah, some of the probes in Oblivia are acting up," Vandham told them as he gave them the coordinates. "I imagine Lin could fix them in a jiffy, so get your butts out there and we can forget this late business ever happened."

As they left the BLADE tower Cross asked Elma if she thought Vandham knew about their arrangement. "He's sharper than he looks, I wouldn't be surprised if he figured it out," Elma told him. "That or Tatsu told him." She hadn't really been banking on keeping anything a secret now that Tatsu knew.

Irina had mentioned Lin was going to the Industrial District, most likely to work on the skell flight module. Cross and Elma got themselves transported over to the district and headed to the Outfitters Test Hangar. They could see Tatsu standing by himself and he seemed a bit worried.

"Tatsu? What's wrong?" Elma asked as they approached him.

"Oh! Friends here!" Tatsu exclaimed in relief. "Friend Doug not here to test scary, flying machine! So Lin test it herself!"

Elma and Cross looked at each other. As if on cue, a blast of wind rushed by them as a smoking Skell flew past. It went back towards the sky but it was clearly struggling to stay afloat, ready to crash at any moment. "Lin!" Elma called out before rushing to a nearby skell in the hangar.

"W-wait you can't!" An engineer called out. "It's under maintenance there's-" But Elma had already gotten in and was getting the machine ready to go, ignoring the man's warnings.

"Elma! Wait!" Cross called to her as the skell she had boarded ran by. He ran after her, Tatsu tailing close behind.

Lin seemed to have lost all control of her skell, and it was rocketing towards Repenta Diner. Elma sped her Skell up and leaped into the air, crashing into Lin's skell and knocking her out of the way of the diner. There was too much momentum though to stop either skell from tumbling off the road and into the water below. Cross heard a loud splash and didn't hesitate to leap off the road directly into the water. Normally he'd be hesitant but with Mira's lighter gravity and the durability of his mimeosome the dive wasn't too painful.

The skells were a smoking mess, floating in the water. Cross swam towards them in a panic, Tatsu calling to Lin and Elma from the street. Elma's skell opened up and the woman managed to crawl out, she seemed pretty badly hurt though. Cross grabbed onto the skell and tried to climb up to help his lover but the woman stopped him. "I'll be alright," her mimeosome was leaking a bit. "Go help Lin." Cross nodded and hurried to get the girl out of the cockpit. As he got her out, he quickly realized she was unconscious, her mim seemed to take more damage than Elma's.

"Hang on," Cross told her, as he hefted her over his shoulder. A transport plane was lowering itself down next to them to pick them up. Someone in the sky must have noticed the crash. Cross hopped aboard and handed Lin over to another BLADE officer. They set her down and swiftly began to patch her up to reduce her damage.

With a thunk, Cross jumped back onto the crashed skell and helped Elma stand up. Her legs were shaky but she didn't seem nearly as hurt as Lin. "You did good," Cross assured her slinging her arm over his shoulder. They carefully boarded the vehicle and Cross sat Elma down. The woman gave him a weak smile.

"Linly!"

Frantic splashing could be heard before a soaking wet Tatsu tried to jump onto the vehicle. He couldn't get enough air to board though and dangled over the edge, but Cross was quick to help the nopon up. Tatsu scurried over to Lin and looked at her worriedly.

"Linly can't go! Who cook delicious meals for Tatsu? Or keep him warm in bed?"

Elma breathed in sharply as a medic wrapped a bandage around her leg. "I'm sure Lin will be okay, Tatsu." Cross nodded in agreement.

Soon enough they were landed and Lin was taken to have her mimesome repaired. The medics tried to take Elma as well but she insisted she would be fine. Cross watched worriedly as she limped over to a bench and sat down. He exchanged glances with Tatsu before walking over to her. She let out a long sigh before leaning up against him.

Cross smiled and rubbed her opposite shoulder. "Nice work," he told her, praising her for the quick thinking.

"Thanks, I... I could have done better though," she told him, glancing at her wound. Cross tried to assure her it was the best outcome they could have hoped for.

"It's not that," Elma assured him. She knew the skell situation was beyond anyone's control. "But it's unlike Lin to be so reckless. Doug was always her test pilot because he's one of the best... Why did she suddenly decide to do it herself?"

"Linly seem upset at something other than Tatsu for once," the Nopon chirped up. The two hadn't even noticed he was still there. It was odd to see him around without Lin. "When friend Doug tell Linly he was busy, Linly get all huffy puffy and climbed into big machine herself."

Lin was brave but not stupid. She knew it was too dangerous for an untrained pilot to fly a prototype skell. Elma had warned her many times never to do that, and Lin had always agreed it would be a dumb idea. "Tatsu, has Lin said anything strange to you lately?" Elma asked.

Tatsu shook his head. "Tatsu not know, but when Linly grumpy, she is very nice to Tatsu! Linly make Tatsu lots of food for breakfast, snuggle Tatsu at night, and tell Tatsu never to change!"

Then it clicked. Elma wanted to kick herself. In the back of her head she had thought about it but she didn't want to consider it an actual option. "We neglected her," Elma looked up at Cross. No, it wasn't right for her to include him. "No... I have," she murmured. She felt like a shitty team leader. She had gotten so wrapped up in her romance she had forgotten about the world around her. Lin was very mature for her age, but she was still so young. The girl was like a daughter to her and yet the last few days she had practically forgotten her presence.

"I have to make it up to her," Elma said, standing up. She winced and stumbled a little bit as pain shot through her leg. Cross was quick to grab her and help her balance. "I have to talk to her."

"Hey, come on," Cross drew her back to the seat, telling her there was little she could do while Lin was unconscious.

So they sat there and waited for news. Hours went by with no news. Eventually the sun set below the walls of New LA and the moons began to fill the sky. After receiving little word from the maintenance center, Cross insisted Elma return to the barracks to sleep. She would be insisted to stay if not for her leg. With an arm slung over his shoulder, Cross helped Elma make their way to the barracks with Tatsu.

The Nopon was quick to scurry into Lin's room to sleep, leaving Elma and Cross to themselves as they made their way to Elma's room. Elma's gaze turned downward as she sat down on her bed. "Maybe this was a bad idea," she murmured. Cross stood before her, not saying a word. "This thing between you and me... It seems to cause nothing but problems."

Cross tilted his head a bit, pursing his lips as he tried to think of something to say. Elma let out a deep breath. "It's gotten me so wrapped up in what I want for once, and now..." She flopped down on the bed. "... I can't have nice things."

Cross looked to her sadly. He rubbed the back of his neck for a moment before crawling into the bed and laying down next to Elma. "It's alright to be selfish every now and then," he said, he glanced over at her, to find her gaze locked on the ceiling. He told her selfishness was all part of being human, there to keep people from hurting themselves too much.

"But others always seem to get hurt in return," Elma replied. "Lin is... Lin is so young. She's just a girl."

Cross didn't have an answer to that. Elma could tell he was a bit unhappy as much as he tried to hide it. No matter what she decided someone would be upset. She looked over at Cross. She wanted to hold him and kiss him, but what if that made things harder? "Cross, I…" she instinctively reached out and brushed the tip of her fingers against his cheek. "I don't know what to do." Cross gently took her hand in his and held his against his cheek. They looked at each other wordlessly for a while before Cross's eyelids began to droop. Elma could tell he was trying to fight to stay awake. But soon enough he fell asleep, his hand still holding her's.

* * *

Blurry vision made it hard for Lin to initially come to her senses. But the seconds passed and everything slowly began to clear as the girl became aware of her surroundings. She realized she was in the mimeosome maintenance center recovering from a…? She was having a hard time remembering what had happened. She had stormed out of the barracks with Tatsu and gone over to the industrial district, found out Doug wasn't available to test her new flying tech, so she tried it out herself and then-

"Oh god," she murmured to herself. "Did I hurt anyone?"

"Everyone got out fine, Lin, except for you."

Elma stepped up to the container Lin was being held in to heal. From what Lin could tell the woman seemed tired, and was limping. "Were… were you the one in the other skell?" Lin asked.

To this the woman nodded. "I-" Lin began. "I'm sorry."

Her commander shook her head. "It's my own fault," she said, leaning against the container. "I wasn't treating you fairly so you were upset."

Lin turned her gaze downward. "No, Elma… I was immature," she tried to blink a few tears away. "I was reckless and it could have cost someone dearly."

Elma took in a sharp breath. "Well… things are gonna go back to normal," she said quietly. "I'm going to end things with Cross."

Lin's eyes widened. "What? No!" she exclaimed. She wanted to get out but her body hadn't fully recovered yet. "Why?"

…

"Because I can't have nice things," Elma responded in frustration. "It gets in the way of what's more important."

"Elma, that's not true," Lin told her, shaking her head. "If anyone deserves some happiness, it's you. You've worked so hard to get us where we are."

Elma turned and began to walk away, trying her best to hide her limp. "I've already decided it's for the better. I'll be back to check on you in the morning, Lin."

The girl squirmed around in the pod, unable to do anything. "Elma! I'll never forgive myself!"

That stopped the woman in her tracks. "W-what?" she asked in confusion.

Biting her bottom lip, Lin continued. "I wouldn't ever forgive myself for taking something that's special to you away," she explained. "I haven't seen you this happy since… ever, actually. Cross is really important to you and I can see that." She could hear Elma's footsteps as she approached her. The woman came into Lin's sight again. "I know you'll say that it's not my fault but it is. I'll be the girl who took the little bit of happiness you had from you forever."

"Lin…"

"Just stop," the girl said. "I know what you want, and I've seen the glimmer in Cross's eyes. He wants it too. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you lost him all over again."

Now Elma was blinking away the tears. She needed to keep her composer. She was a commanding officer for god's sake. "I-… Thank you."

Lin smiled. "I should be thanking you," she said. "You saved me during that skell crash."

Elma finally smiled. "That was still my fault for mistreating you."

Lin shook her head. "I'm sorry for being selfish. It was really immature. I realize now that you guys need quality time." Her smile grew. "Just as long as you guys spend quality time with Tatsu and me too."

* * *

Cross's eyes fluttered open. Though the room was dark was could tell Elma was gone. The bed was empty and some of her gear with gone. He scrambled out of bed and felt around in the dark for his pants. He quickly dressed enough to leave the barracks before heading outside. He already knew where Elma was. He began to dash towards the mimeosome center but was surprised to meet Elma at the halfway point. She was limping back to the barracks. Her bad leg gave out from under her and she began to fall, but Cross was quick to run up and catch her in his arms.

The man was going to ask what she had been doing even though he already knew but stopped when he realized how oddly affectionate she was suddenly being compared to before he had fallen asleep. Without a word, she wrapped her arms around him tightly with fists full of his shirt in her hands, holding him as if she didn't want to lose him. "What's up?" he finally asked, adjusting to hold her in a more comfortable position.

Elma was ashamed. How terrible was she to retreat to the norm so quickly? Cross didn't deserve her backing out on him when she was the one who pulled him in from the get go. "I'm sorry," Elma felt like she was doing a lot of apologizing today. "I shouldn't have given up so easily."

The man gave her an understanding smile and kissed the top of her head. He assured her it was okay and that she had been worried because she had been thinking of Lin.

All seemed right in the world again. Sharing their embrace, Elma felt nothing could go wrong. She rested her head on his torso and pressed her ear against her favorite part of his chest, her lips curling into a smile.

She really loved to hear his heartbeat.

* * *

 _I'll probably update this form time to time as new ideas for one-shots/drabbles come to mind. Hope you enjoyed reading._


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